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June 26, 2026 Dumb Criminals

Man Commits Robbery in Full Chuck E. Cheese-Style Mascot Costume, Identified by the Costume

He robbed a check-cashing store in a seven-foot mouse costume. There was exactly one place in the county that rented it — and he'd signed for it under his real name.

June 25, 2026 Crime Blotter

Suspect Flees Police on Electric Scooter at 8 MPH, Stops Mid-Chase to Charge It

He fled a shoplifting scene on a rented e-scooter at 8 mph, then ended the pursuit himself by stopping at a charging dock because the battery hit 2 percent.

June 24, 2026 Crime Blotter

Man Found Swimming in Stranger’s Backyard Pool Wearing a Full Three-Piece Business Suit

A homeowner found a stranger doing slow laps in their pool in a full three-piece suit and wingtip shoes. He refused to get out until he 'finished his lap.' He was completely sober.

June 23, 2026 Crime Blotter

Karaoke Singer Barricades Himself on Stage, Refuses to Surrender Microphone for Two Hours

He queued 31 karaoke songs under fake names and barricaded himself on stage behind bar stools for two hours. The standoff ended when his voice gave out mid-'Sweet Caroline.'

June 22, 2026 Crime Blotter

Man Steals Portable Toilet from Construction Site, Discovers Too Late That It Was Occupied

He stole a porta-potty off a construction site and drove away. There was a man inside. The man forced the door open at a red light and started pounding. Kidnapping charges were added.

June 21, 2026 Dumb Criminals

Father’s Day Fishing Trip Cut Short After Dad Steals Boat, Has No Idea How Boats Work

He stole a boat to give his kids a great Father's Day, made it 400 yards, and ran aground on the only sandbar in the entire bay. He has never operated a boat.

June 21, 2026 Crime & Punishment

Man Breaks Into Department Store to Steal Father’s Day Tie, Leaves Cash and an Apology Note

He broke into a Belk overnight to steal one necktie for his dad, then left $40 cash and a note: 'Sorry. For my dad. He likes blue.' He overpaid by five dollars on a stolen tie.

June 19, 2026 Crime Blotter

Competitive Pitmaster Arrested for Stealing Rival’s Brisket Off the Smoker at Juneteenth Cookout

He stole his lifelong rival's 14-hour brisket right off the smoker at a Juneteenth cookout and tried to enter it as his own. The victim pointed across the park and yelled 'That's MY bark, Otis!'

June 18, 2026 Dumb Criminals

Intoxicated Man Climbs Into Zoo Enclosure to ‘Apologize to the Capybara,’ Capybara Unbothered

Drunk and tearful, he climbed into a zoo enclosure to apologize to a capybara named Gordon for 'everything.' Gordon ate a piece of lettuce, turned away, and walked into his pool.

June 17, 2026 Dumb Criminals

Vape Shop Robber Falls Asleep on Couch After Stopping to ‘Test the Merchandise’

He broke into a vape shop, got distracted testing the merchandise, and fell asleep on the customer couch. Employees found him at opening, still holding a tester, asking about the rewards program.