ALBUQUERQUE, NM — A 31-year-old man was arrested Wednesday morning after allegedly breaking into a vape and smoke shop overnight, becoming distracted by the store’s product inventory, sampling a substantial portion of it, and falling asleep on the shop’s customer lounge couch, where employees found him at opening the next morning, still holding a display vape.

Tyler Brent Oswalt allegedly entered Cloud Nine Vapor on Central Avenue through a rear window around 1 a.m. Investigators say that rather than immediately gathering valuables, Oswalt began methodically working his way through the store’s tester products, eventually settling onto the shop’s leather customer couch, where the combination of nicotine, comfort, and the late hour proved insurmountable.

Closed for the Night, In Every Sense

Store employees arriving at 9 a.m. found the back window open, an estimated 40 tester vapes scattered across the counter, and Oswalt asleep on the couch under a display poster, one arm draped over the armrest, a fruit-flavored disposable still in hand. They called police, who reported having to wake Oswalt, who allegedly asked if the store was open and whether he could buy the vape he was holding.

“He asked if we had a rewards program. Sir, you broke in. You are not a member. You are a suspect. He seemed genuinely disappointed.” — Officer Luis Fontaine, Albuquerque PD

Oswalt was booked into the Bernalillo County Metropolitan Detention Center on charges of burglary and criminal damage to property. Nothing of significant value was found to be missing, though the store noted its entire tester supply was “thoroughly depleted.” His JailReport.lol booking has been filed under Dumb Criminals. Bond was set at $2,500.