BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000318

Marcus Eldridge "He Likes Blue" Coyne

Age47
GenderMale
RaceWhite
Booking DateJune 21, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000318

Incident Details

Coyne broke into a closed Belk on King Street at 2 AM to steal a single necktie for his father. Security footage shows him walking directly to menswear, deliberating between ties, selecting a navy blue silk tie priced at $34.99, and then leaving two twenty-dollar bills and a handwritten note on the register reading, ‘Sorry. For my dad. He likes blue. — A son.’ He took nothing else despite passing more valuable merchandise. He overpaid by five dollars on a stolen tie. The detective said, ‘I have arrested a lot of people. This is the only one who made me feel bad about it.’ Coyne had lost his job and couldn’t afford a gift but ‘didn’t want to just take it without paying.’ The tie was found at his home, wrapped in newspaper as a gift. His father has reportedly received it.

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.