BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000316

Gary Lynn "Sandbar" Boudreau

Age43
GenderMale
RaceWhite
Booking DateJune 21, 2026 at 9:15 AM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000316

Incident Details

Boudreau stole an unsecured 21-foot bowrider from Marina Jack to give his two children a memorable Father’s Day fishing trip, loading them aboard with a cooler, three fishing rods, and ‘an alarming quantity of Capri Sun.’ He does not own a boat and has never operated one. He told his kids the boat belonged to ‘a friend,’ the friend being nobody. The vessel traveled roughly the length of a football field before lodging firmly on the only sandbar in the calmest water in the bay. He spent 25 minutes attempting to free it by ‘rocking back and forth and yelling at it.’ A harbor patrol officer noted, ‘There is one sandbar here and you found it.’ The children were reportedly having a great time until the handcuffs appeared. The confiscated Capri Suns were distributed to the children.

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.