Cinco de Mayo got her. Staff found her face-down in a 100-ounce margarita pitcher she'd refused to share. She told the server she 'lived here now' and tried to take the pitcher home.
He stole a riding mower, drove it 2.7 miles to a McDonald's drive-thru, ordered 40 McNuggets, and had a philosophical debate with the cashier about whether a lawnmower is a vehicle.
He delivered weed under the pizza to the same house four times in one night. It was a narcotics sting. He gave them extra marinara and a peace sign.
A cop checked one car in the Taco Bell drive-thru. Then the next. Then all nine. Not one person in line had a valid license. One offered a Costco card.
He called 911 to report his weed stolen. Then he handed officers a spreadsheet with strain names, profit margins, and a customer loyalty program.
He tried to pay for $37 in gas station snacks with a gallon bag of weed, asked to speak to a manager when it was declined, and was found eating unpaid Sour Patch Kids on the floor.
They sealed every crack in their apartment for the ultimate hotbox. Then the building's HVAC kicked on, pulled the smoke into all four floors, and evacuated 150 people.
He ate twelve pot brownies thinking they were regular office treats. He then spent 45 minutes in a supply closet alphabetizing paper clips and narrating an elevator.
He spent $340 at Hobby Lobby building a wearable azalea costume, snuck into Augusta National before dawn, and watched the front nine before a groundskeeper tried to prune him.
He rented a house on Airbnb for Masters week, installed a keg system, hired a bouncer, charged cover, and made $3,400 before the neighbors called the cops.