She stole a dozen packages and left handwritten star ratings of the contents on the victims' porches. The air fryer got 4/5, docked a point because 'the box was hard to open.'
They dashed on a $204 steakhouse bill but left a two-star comment card critiquing the ribeye and the bread basket — signed with their real names and loyalty rewards number.
He tried to pay a $52 parking ticket with an unscratched lottery ticket he swore was a winner. It wasn't. Neither was the second. He had a whole stack and wanted to keep going.
He cut a real drive-thru window into the side of his house to sell stolen goods without making customers get out of their cars. He called it 'Hot Stuff Express' and made them order into a speaker.
He crashed a college graduation in a rented cap and gown, walked the stage under the name 'Maximus Strong,' accepted a blank diploma, and tried to give a speech before attempting a backflip.
A father-son lemonade stand feud with a rival family escalated to a 4-cent price war, free-sticker incentives, and a defaced sign reading '2ND BEST LEMONADE.' The kids were always friends. It was the dads.
He stole roses off a stranger's grave for Mother's Day. The card still said 'For Mama, Love Eugene.' His mother is named Deborah. She made him return them in person.
He broke in, asked Alexa to play heist music, and Alexa pinged the homeowner's phone with an alert: 'Unknown voice request.' He was still trying to bargain with it when the cops arrived.
He pulled a transparent grocery bag over his head, walked into a bank, and slid a note across the counter. The teller knew him by name. He said 'dang it' and waited for the cops.
He asked ChatGPT how to rob a liquor store, printed all 14 pages, brought them to the robbery, left them on the counter, and printed the part where the AI told him not to.