SAN DIEGO, CA — A 27-year-old man was arrested Thursday evening after climbing over a barrier at a San Diego wildlife park and entering a capybara enclosure, telling responding staff he needed to “apologize to the capybara” for something he declined to specify and the capybara appeared entirely uninterested in receiving.

Jordan Tyler Mealey reportedly scaled a low fence near closing time and lowered himself into the capybara habitat, where he approached the park’s resident capybara, a 9-year-old male named Gordon, and attempted to deliver what witnesses described as “a heartfelt and tearful apology.” Gordon, the world’s largest rodent and an animal renowned for its profound indifference, reportedly did not react.

An Apology Unaccepted

Park staff and witnesses say Mealey knelt several feet from Gordon and spoke to him at length, apologizing for what he called “everything” and “the way things went.” Gordon, per the incident report, “continued chewing” and at one point “slowly turned away,” which Mealey interpreted aloud as Gordon “needing time.”

“The capybara could not have cared less. The man was sobbing. The capybara ate a piece of lettuce. The man said, ‘I understand.’ The capybara walked into its pool. It was the most one-sided conversation I’ve ever witnessed.” — Zoo keeper Amanda Reyes

Mealey did not attempt to harm the animal and was, by all accounts, “extremely gentle and very sad.” He was removed from the enclosure by staff and arrested for trespassing and entering an animal enclosure. He was booked into the San Diego County Jail and evaluated for intoxication, which the report confirms. His JailReport.lol booking has been filed under WTF News. Gordon is unharmed and reportedly “unaware anything happened.” Bond was set at $1,000.