A homeowner found a stranger doing slow laps in their pool in a full three-piece suit and wingtip shoes. He refused to get out until he 'finished his lap.' He was completely sober.
He queued 31 karaoke songs under fake names and barricaded himself on stage behind bar stools for two hours. The standoff ended when his voice gave out mid-'Sweet Caroline.'
He broke into a Belk overnight to steal one necktie for his dad, then left $40 cash and a note: 'Sorry. For my dad. He likes blue.' He overpaid by five dollars on a stolen tie.
Drunk and tearful, he climbed into a zoo enclosure to apologize to a capybara named Gordon for 'everything.' Gordon ate a piece of lettuce, turned away, and walked into his pool.
He broke into a vape shop, got distracted testing the merchandise, and fell asleep on the customer couch. Employees found him at opening, still holding a tester, asking about the rewards program.
He posed as a meter inspector to get into fenced backyards. He ignored every meter. He just wanted to pet the dogs. He brought treats and knew their names by the second visit.
He crashed a college graduation in a rented cap and gown, walked the stage under the name 'Maximus Strong,' accepted a blank diploma, and tried to give a speech before attempting a backflip.
He broke in, asked Alexa to play heist music, and Alexa pinged the homeowner's phone with an alert: 'Unknown voice request.' He was still trying to bargain with it when the cops arrived.
She crashed a wedding, sobbed through the ceremony, caught the bouquet, proposed to the best man, called him the wrong name, and fell into the cake during her toast.
They sealed every crack in their apartment for the ultimate hotbox. Then the building's HVAC kicked on, pulled the smoke into all four floors, and evacuated 150 people.