OCALA, FL — A 39-year-old man’s plan to rob a convenience store and escape on the back of his personally owned emu unraveled within minutes Thursday evening when the emu — named, per the suspect, “Big Steve” — refused to be ridden, ate a substantial portion of the stolen cash, and then ran in the wrong direction, leaving the suspect to attempt his escape on foot.

Wendell Cobb Treadway allegedly entered a 7-Eleven on Silver Springs Boulevard at approximately 7:50 p.m., demanded approximately $280 in cash from the register, and exited the store calling out for Big Steve, whom he had reportedly tied to a bicycle rack outside. Surveillance footage shows Big Steve untying himself from the rack approximately three minutes prior to the robbery and wandering across the parking lot to a Sonic Drive-In, where he had been attempting, unsuccessfully, to drink from a discarded slushie.

The Mount Did Not Allow Mounting

Treadway returned from the robbery to find Big Steve standing in the Sonic parking lot. Witnesses say Treadway then attempted to mount the emu directly, with no saddle or other equipment, while still holding the stolen cash. Big Steve, who weighs approximately 130 pounds and has — according to a local veterinarian quoted in the report — “no functional capacity to be ridden by a human being,” rejected this arrangement immediately by sidestepping and pecking at the cash bag.

“The bird ate the money. Or some of it. He ate a twenty and most of a ten. Then he made a noise I cannot describe and ran into the road. The suspect ran after him yelling ‘Big Steve! Big Steve!’ I had to sit down.” — Witness Carla Mendizabal, Sonic customer

Marion County deputies arrived to find Big Steve standing calmly in the median, partially digested currency visible in his beak. Treadway was apprehended approximately a quarter mile down the road, out of breath, still holding what remained of the cash. Big Steve was taken into the custody of Marion County Animal Services and is currently being held at a local sanctuary, where he is reportedly “adjusting well.”

Treadway was booked into the Marion County Jail on charges of armed robbery, animal cruelty, and operating an emu as a getaway vehicle — the last of which the arresting deputy admits is “not technically a charge but I’m writing it anyway and they can sort it out.” His JailReport.lol booking has set a single-day traffic record. Big Steve does not have a JailReport.lol profile but our editors have unanimously voted to give him an honorary one. Treadway’s bond has been set at $10,000.