GREENVILLE, SC — A 27-year-old man was arrested Tuesday morning after allegedly breaking into a home in the Nicholtown neighborhood, loading valuables into a pillowcase, and falling asleep on the homeowner’s recliner before he could leave — at which point the homeowner woke up, found him, and brewed a pot of coffee before calling police.

Demarcus Layne Fitch reportedly entered the home of Gerald Paxton, 74, through an unlocked side door at approximately 3 a.m. Security camera footage shows Fitch methodically gathering electronics, loose cash, and a collection of porcelain figurines into a king-sized pillowcase before sitting down in Paxton’s La-Z-Boy “to rest for a minute.” He did not get back up.

Southern Hospitality Meets Southern Justice

Paxton told reporters he came downstairs at 6:15 a.m. to find a stranger asleep in his chair, clutching a pillowcase full of his belongings, with his shoes off and a throw blanket pulled over his lap — a blanket Fitch had apparently retrieved from the couch himself.

“Well, he looked tired. I wasn’t gonna wake a sleeping man without offering him something. My mama raised me right. So I made coffee, set a cup on the end table, and then I called the police. In that order.” — Gerald Paxton, homeowner

Officers arrived to find Fitch still asleep. The untouched cup of coffee was beside him. He was woken, informed he was under arrest, and reportedly asked Paxton, “Is that Colombian?” before being led to the patrol car. Paxton confirmed it was Folgers.

Fitch was booked into the Greenville County Detention Center on charges of second-degree burglary and petit larceny. All stolen items were recovered. Paxton has declined to press charges on the blanket. The story has gone viral on JailReport.lol, where readers have overwhelmingly voted it the week’s most “wholesome felony.” Fitch is being held on $10,000 bond.