BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000261

Marcus Terrell "Legal Tender" Boggs

Age28
GenderMale
RaceBlack
Booking DateApril 20, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000261

Incident Details

Boggs attempted to purchase $37.42 worth of snacks at a Circle K — four bags of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, two pints of Ben & Jerry’s, a party-size bag of Swedish Fish, and a 64-ounce fountain drink — by placing a gallon-sized Ziploc bag of marijuana on the counter and telling the clerk it was ‘basically cash today.’ When informed the store accepts cash, credit, debit, and Apple Pay, Boggs asked, ‘What about Google Pay?’ The clerk said yes. Boggs then asked, ‘Okay, but what about weed?’ The clerk said no. Boggs stared at him for fifteen seconds and said, ‘That doesn’t seem right. It’s a holiday.’ He was found on the candy aisle floor eating a bag of Sour Patch Kids he had opened but not paid for. He asked the commissary if they accepted ‘alternative payments.’ They do not.

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.