BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000212

Hunter Grayson "Chairman" Whitworth

Age26
GenderMale
RaceWhite
Booking DateApril 10, 2026 at 7:30 PM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000212

Incident Details

Whitworth was discovered unconscious inside a large azalea bush in the median of Washington Road wearing a green sport coat with ‘MASTERS CHAMPION’ written on the breast pocket in gold fabric paint. A custom flask shaped like a miniature green jacket was recovered from his inside pocket; it was empty. Witnesses reported that Whitworth had been walking down Washington Road for approximately thirty minutes loudly narrating his own movements as if Jim Nantz were calling the Masters. Upon regaining consciousness, he challenged the arresting deputy to a putting contest on the sidewalk, producing a collapsible putter from his back pocket. He could not stand unassisted.

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.