Brunner stole at least a dozen packages across several Portland neighborhoods over two weeks but distinguished herself from typical porch pirates by leaving behind handwritten index-card reviews of the items she took, complete with star ratings. One card, left after she stole a set of bedsheets, read: ‘3/5. Thread count lower than advertised. Color nice. — H.’ Another, following a protein powder theft, read: ‘1/5. Chalky. Do not recommend. Would not steal again.’ The consistent handwriting, the signature ‘H,’ and one card on which she’d absentmindedly written a partial return address allowed detectives to build a case. Per the detective: ‘She gave a stolen air fryer four stars but docked a point because the box was hard to open. Ma’am, it’s not yours. The box being hard to open is not the crime here.’ Recovered items were each tagged with a sticky note bearing a score out of five. She reportedly gave the jail two stars at intake, citing ‘poor lighting and limited menu.’