AUGUSTA, GA — A 52-year-old man was ejected from Augusta National Golf Club and subsequently arrested on Thursday after allegedly striking another patron in the face with one of the tournament’s iconic pimento cheese sandwiches during a heated argument over whether Rory McIlroy’s opening-round 67 was “actually that impressive.”
Kenneth “Big Kenny” Doss of Alpharetta, Georgia, was watching the action near the 12th green during the first round when he entered into a verbal altercation with another patron, identified as Martin Schaal, 47, of Charlotte, North Carolina. Witnesses say the disagreement began as a civil conversation about McIlroy’s putting performance and escalated over approximately six minutes into what one bystander described as “the angriest whisper-fight I’ve ever seen.”
The Sandwich Heard ‘Round Amen Corner
Augusta National enforces a strict policy of patron decorum, including near-silence during play. Multiple witnesses confirmed that both men maintained whisper-level volume throughout the argument, even as the subject matter grew increasingly personal. The confrontation turned physical when Schaal allegedly questioned whether Doss had “ever even broken 100,” at which point Doss retrieved a pimento cheese sandwich from his cargo shorts and threw it sidearm into Schaal’s face from approximately four feet away.
“It was the most aggressive underhanded toss I’ve ever witnessed. And he kept whispering the whole time. He whisper-yelled ‘How’s that for a short game?’ while the man had pimento cheese in his eyes. It was honestly terrifying.” — Witness, name withheld
Pinkerton security removed Doss within seconds. Schaal declined medical attention but accepted a replacement sandwich from a nearby concession stand. The pimento cheese sandwich sells for $1.50 at Augusta National — widely considered the best value in professional sports.
Doss was transferred to the Richmond County Sheriff’s Office and booked on a charge of simple assault. Augusta National confirmed he has been banned from the property for life. Doss’s booking on JailReport.lol includes a mugshot showing a visible smear of pimento cheese on his right palm. He was released on $500 bond and told reporters outside the jail, “He had it coming. And for the record, I’ve broken 90.” He has not.