BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000307
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Mackenzie Renee "El Diablo" Bofinger

Age28
GenderFemale
RaceWhite
Booking DateMay 5, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000307

Incident Details

Bofinger was found face-down in a 100-ounce communal margarita pitcher at Casa Picante during Cinco de Mayo. The pitcher, called ‘El Diablo’s Bathtub,’ was designed for four to six people. Bofinger took possession within five minutes, refused to share, and adopted it as a personal beverage. She progressed from straws to lifting it like a soup bowl to simply leaning her face into it. A server found her motionless, bangs submerged, and said, ‘Ma’am, ma’am.’ Bofinger raised her head and replied, ‘I’m fine, I live here now.’ Then she put her face back in. Her booking photo shows visible salt around her mouth and a lime wedge stuck to her earring. She asked the releasing officer if Casa Picante was open for brunch. It was not. She has been banned for life.

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.