Pruitt was observed by multiple witnesses loading a 400-pound concrete park bench into the bed of his Ford F-150 in the middle of Riverside Park at approximately 11 AM on a Saturday. The operation required a car jack, two ratchet straps, and what appeared to be a hand-drawn engineering diagram. When confronted by a parks employee, Pruitt reportedly said ‘I called ahead’ and produced a folded piece of notebook paper he claimed was a ‘purchase receipt.’ It read ‘one bench, paid in full’ in his own handwriting.
Douglas Wayne "Duct Tape" Pruitt
| Age | 67 |
|---|---|
| Gender | Male |
| Race | White |
| Booking Date | March 15, 2026 at 11:50 AM |
| Booking Number | JR-2026-000143 |
Incident Details
DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.