BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000147

Alejandro "Abuela's Favorite" Cisneros-Vega

Age35
GenderMale
RaceHispanic
Booking DateMarch 10, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000147

Incident Details

Cisneros-Vega leased a vacant storefront between a nail salon and a Cricket Wireless, installed a ‘NOW SERVING’ ticket dispenser, printed a banner reading ‘Department of Motor Vehicles – Express Location,’ and processed over two hundred license applications at $45 each before anyone reported the office to the actual DMV. The operation included a waiting area with outdated magazines, a number display board, and a functioning eye exam chart. Several customers gave the location positive Yelp reviews, praising the ‘shockingly short wait times.’

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.