Chakrabarti was arrested outside a Planet Fitness after a customer reported receiving a ‘full chakra diagnostic’ and a Ziploc bag of amethyst labeled ‘take two with dinner’ in the back seat of a Kia Sorento. The vehicle’s interior had been converted into what Chakrabarti called a ‘mobile wellness suite,’ complete with an essential oil diffuser plugged into the cigarette lighter and a laminated sign reading ‘The Doctor Is In (Spiritually).’ She had fourteen active ‘patients’ and a waitlist.
Priya "Scalpel" Chakrabarti
| Age | 34 |
|---|---|
| Gender | Female |
| Race | Asian |
| Booking Date | March 5, 2026 at 8:55 AM |
| Booking Number | JR-2026-000111 |
Incident Details
DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.