BOOKING REPORT Booking #JR-2026-000109

Carlos Eduardo "El Gato" Reyes-Mondragón

Age48
GenderMale
RaceHispanic
Booking DateMarch 9, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Booking NumberJR-2026-000109

Incident Details

Reyes-Mondragón broke into a stranger’s home at approximately 3:30 AM not to steal anything, but to take a bath. The homeowner discovered him in the master bathroom wearing a complimentary hotel robe, surrounded by lit candles he had brought from home, and listening to what he described as a ‘jazz lo-fi playlist for self-care.’ Nothing was stolen. The suspect’s own residence, located four blocks away, has a fully functional bathroom. He told officers he ‘just liked their tub better.’

DISCLAIMER: This booking report is entirely fictional and satirical. This is not a real arrest record. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.